New Year's resolutions

I started this post in January. Can you believe it's March now? Oh, well - things have been crazy (what's new) while we've tried to adjust to our new schedules.

I don't usually make hard and fast resolutions, but I do try to reflect on my life and see what needs to be changed or worked on. So, without further ado, here's my list of things to work on for 2011:

• stand up straight - I don't think my posture is horrible, but it could certainly be better. I'm going to make an effort to notice when my shoulders are slumping and to pull them up.
• spend more time playing with the kids - Amelie has complained several times that I never make time to actually play with them. So I'm going to try to do better.
• make a schedule and stay on it - I'm horrible at time management. I start something, get distracted and start something else, and before you know it the whole day is gone and very little has been accomplished. I'm hoping a schedule will at least help me get a little more done.
• get Amelie caught up on school work and stay caught up - We've actually made some strides toward this now that I'm working and not in school. I try to get her through at least two days' work every day I'm at home with her. It doesn't always happen, but each little bit gets us that much closer. We're also working through breaks that are built into the schedule. We may have to work into the summer, but I think we'll be ready to start second grade on time.
• make time daily for prayer and devotions - I'm trying to make time for this at breakfast time. I find if I put it off until after that it often doesn't get done. My mom got me a subscription to Magnificat so that has helped.
• have a baby - I know I'm not in control of this one, but I hope to either have a baby or be well on my way to having one by the end of the year. When my insurance kicks in at work I'll be heading to the OBGYN to see if they can find out the reason I've had so many miscarriages. Hopefully they'll find the problem and it will be something fixable.
• put $1000 into savings and pay off $3500 worth of bills - The $1000 will be easy since we're getting a nice tax refund. But the $3500 will take a little more planning and budgeting. It be really nice if we could get even more than that paid off.
• make exercise a regular part of my routine - I'm so terrible at this, but I have to do it. I need to get healthy, and I need to lose some of this extra weight.
• declutter - I've already started this one, and it has made a big difference in the apartment. I'm also trying to partially follow the FLYlady system to stay on top of chores. It's nice to be able to relax at night in a semi-clean apartment.

jealousy

Oh...I'm in such a bad place. I have to admit that I have a more than a tinge of jealousy when I read about pregnant women or women with new babies.

It was bad after I lost Avery. But I had the hope that I could get pregnant again and soon be holding another baby. But now, two more losses later, I just don't have much of that hope left.

I really, really want another baby. But nine months seems like an eternity. And that's not even counting the months of waiting until I'm able to get pregnant. And it's not counting any added months should I lose another one. Patience is not my strong suit and having to wait and not knowing the future just fuels the fire.

People love to tell me that I should be grateful for the two beautiful children I have - and I am. But that doesn't lessen my sorrow at the babies I've lost or diminish my longing for another baby I can hold and love every day.

5 things for the brand new week

1) I've decided to start reading to the kids more. This has always been a goal of mine, but it just never seems to happen. My plan is to read a Bible story sometime in the morning and a chapter from a chapter book at night before bed. I tried to read a chapter out of The Hobbit last Thursday night before the kids went to sleep, and it resulted in the kids playing (not listening), me storming out of the room (not pretty), me locking myself in my room and bawling like a baby, and the kids in their room with Amelie bawling like a baby and begging me to come back. It was bad, but I decided to give it another shot. This morning's Bible story went much better. It was just one page, though. We'll see how tonight goes. I may have to give up on The Hobbit for now and dig around and find a shorter book or at least a book with shorter chapters.

2) Today has been declared a cleaning day. There's already a load of clothes in the dryer and one in the washer. But there is SO SO SO much more to do. Guess I need to get off the computer soon.

3) It's time to dig in and get Amelie's school back on track. We've been averaging 1-2 days of school per week. My goal is 4 days per week which I think is doable, but we haven't found a good groove yet. We really need to find it, though, because there is much more work for first grade than there was for kindergarten.

4) I'm doing another novena right now. St. Anne is my patron saint and her feast day is coming up. I began my novena yesterday, but I'm not putting pictures up on the blog this time.

5) I'm trying to readjust what time I wake up in the morning. Sounds simple, I know, but for some reason I've been practically dead to the world until 10:30 am for the past 2 weeks. I'm trying to wake up and get up between 8:30 and 9:30 now (without forcing myself up with an alarm). I was able to get up at 9:50 this morning so I guess that's progress.

Greetings from...

Another new blog is up. Enjoy!

Smile!

The new blog is up!

news

Well, I'm pregnant again. I'm telling everyone early this time because it's just too weird when people don't even know you are pregnant and then you miscarry. So this time everyone's going to know practically from the beginning. Hopefully I won't have to find out if it's easier that way or not. Please, please pray for this baby.

In other news, I'm starting a few other blogs. The first post for one of them should be up sometime today or tomorrow. I'll come back and link it then.

How have you been lately?

Never touch a germy soap pump again.

Am I missing something here? So what if there are bacteria on the pump of your soap? You don't generally touch the pump after you wash your hands, do you? So shouldn't all those bacteria that your pump is just waiting to transfer to your hands get washed off during the hand washing process??

I think this is just yet another way to get our money by playing into our fears. Or maybe my nursing education thus far has been all for nought and I'm missing something incredibly obvious here.

a few things...

that I'm grateful for:

• an old acquaintance becoming a new friend
• my sister helping us out today
  
• no rain predicted for Friday

that I'm hopeful for:

• some clouds and a nice breeze on Friday
• that I get my packing and chores done early enough for a good night's rest
• a response to my e-mail
  

What's on your list today?

Be afraid.

Read this blog post. Watch the video. Cry. Pray.

and knitting, and knitting, and knitting...

Kudos to you if you got the Pee Wee reference.

I am dying to learn how to knit. Not that I need another hobby that will get very little of my time, but I've been promising myself since Amelie's first Christmas that I would learn how to knit - if for the sole purpose of knitting her her very own, overly-long stocking. Since then, I've really gotten interested in knitting for my own pleasure. I'd love to knit myself a sweater, my kiddos a cute hat, or a new scarf for whomever.

Can someone teach me, please?